I Love Fall in New England

I love Fall. Fall gives me a chance to sit in my garage and smoke cigars, while knocking back

some whiskey. Oh wait, that's what the rest of the year does for me, as well. Anyway, the temperatures of Fall evenings in New England make it desireable to sit in the garage smoking cigars, while knocking back some whiskey.
I often wonder what the cigars, Pall Malls, and whiskey do to my breath. I just as often realize that I don't really give a shit, because the combination of the three makes life really grand. Add to them the occasional romp on my ATV, that I have named "The Beast," and I wonder how the quality of life could possibly improve. By the way, an ATV is a tool - it is not, by itself, fun. I've found that really cool shit must have a work-type justification, otherwise they are frowned upon by others.

Fall ushers in the deer hunting season. ATV's are very useful for hauling dead deer out of the woods. In my case, I usually hunt from my garage window so I can keep the ash tray filled, and the coffee cup warm, without my feet getting wet and cold. But, the ATV is still useful for fetching the deer carcass so it can be loaded into the truck and taken to the checking station.

Fall also signals the eventual arrival of Winter. Winter, in Northern New England, is the time of year that we all get totally consumed by snowfall. "How much is it supposed to snow tonight, Everett?" "Well, the Channel 7 guy said 7-10 inches, but, ya know, that bastahd hasn't been right since the blizzahd of '82." "Ayup, I figure it'll be just a'dustin, ya know, just enough to make trackin' the dee'ah a little easi'ah." "Ayup, I'll see ya at Dunkin's at about 4, and then I'll head into the woods."

Actually, I can't wait.

The Girl Sailor

I suppose it was inevitable. The judgement of Abby Sunderland's parents is being questioned for allowing, and possibly encouraging, their 16 year-old daughter to attempt to circumnavigate the globe in a forty-foot sailboat. She was equipped with the best equipment, the finest survival and communication gear, top-notch training, and she apparently possesses the highest degree of confidence, maturity, and conviction than most people far older than she is. Their family seems to be made up of courageous adventurers - people who make up their minds to do something and then do it.

As for circumnavigating the globe, it seems to me to be far safer than going to Aruba, Cozumel, Daytona Beach, and countless other exotic (and very dangerous) destinations on Spring Break - something thousands of parents don't think twice about when their young daughters ask to be allowed to go unchaperoned. Abby Sunderland probably doesn't even have a driver license, yet she set out to sail around the World by herself - a feat that would have taken over 200 days.

To parents who are questioning Abby's parents' judgement, take a look at your own couch potatoes and try to imagine them even WALKING to the store - maybe even doing it without their iPods.

This country, and much of the rest of the World, is what it is because of people like Abby Sunderland and her parents. These are people with vision, guts, determination, and apparently a lot of disposable income. We should all strive to be as courageous and independent. Just my opinion, your mileage may vary.

For a glimpse into the mind of this truly remarkable young woman, read her June 12 blog entry here:

http://soloround.blogspot.com/

A Good Stogie

I recommend this stogie - Luis Martinez Dominican Pride Maduro. Very nice ceeeeegar! There's nothing like a good cigar, some fine Scotch, surgery in the morning, and the Elvis Channel on satellite radio.

Satellite Radio

Today I finally took the leap and subscribed to satellite radio. I have known for a long time that satellite radio is cool, but it took borrowing my buddy's car for a few hours to really appreciate it. He is a founding member, and I really enjoyed the time I spent in his Mustang. Especially, All Elvis All the Time. So today, I went to my local Best Buy and bought the in-car setup and a docking/boombox shit thing for my garage at home. As they say in New England, it is "Wicked Cool."

Business Trip to the District

I just returned from a few days in Washington, DC. Even though I've been there dozens of time, this was the first trip I took where I took the time to see a few of the sights along the National Mall (a beautiful place, by the way). The U. S. Capitol was across the street from where I was

attending a conference. This photo was taken

from the sixth floor of the building I was in.

This photo of the Lincoln Monument was

taken near sunset, from floor level.

And finally, the Washington Monument taken at sunset (when all of the convenient places to urinate are closed). However, the Ronald Reagan Building has beautiful restrooms in the basement. All you need is a Federal Government ID and the time it takes to go through the metal detector.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell Revisited

The Congress may actually take up the matter of considering repealing the policy that prevents openly-gay people from serving in the Armed Forces of the United States. Most people know that the current policy was a Clinton-era initiative, that was essentially a compromise between the left and the right, which says that gay people can serve in the military as long as they don't make their sexuality known to military authorities.

I served in the military from 1980 - 2000. Were there gay people in the military in 1980? Of course. I'm quite sure there were gay people in the military as early as the first group of homosapians formed a small group, picked out their favorite clubs and sharpened sticks, and crossed the river to slaughter the neigboring tribe. During my career I observed very harsh treatment of gays at first, and then, near the end of my career, I observed wide-spread tolerance - the kind of tolerance that most would call indifference or ambivalence. I came under fire professionally when I published a letter to the editor of the Navy Times in October of 1999, wherein I stated that people should mind their own business when it comes to the sexuality and sexual preference of others. I received emails and telephone calls from folks who called me "fag" and other endearing terms (not true, by the way). But the heat was on. So I left military service, eligible for retirement, but earlier than I had planned.

So my challenge to Congress and the Joint Chiefs is this: Repeal the ridiculous current policy and allow gays to openly serve in the Armed Forces of the United States, instead of proudly serving while hiding their true personal selves behind a policy which serves no particular end. The current Chairman of the Joint Chiefs has taken the first step, while the Army Chief of Staff has apparently taken the tried and true "I worry about the impact on morale" line that is responsible for the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" nonsense we have now.

By Popular Demand

I've had several requests for "revealing photos" from adoring female followers of my blog (at least I think they are female). So, feast your eyes on this hunk of burning love.

I've been out of pocket for a couple of months, but I promise to get back to regular posting very soon.

Going to Florida This Weekend

My wife Pam and I are going to Florida this weekend to see our sons Thomas and Tyson, their wife/significant other Heather and Casey, and Tyson and Heather's daughter (our granddaughter) Kaley (who is one year old and whom we've not yet met). While in Florida, we will be going to a horror film festival in Orlando for the first U. S. screening of my brother Richard's movie "Evil Angel."

Autumn

Fall is definitely here. Here in the Great White North, the leaves are beginning to change and fall to the ground (causing me to have to rake them with the rig pictured at right-stock photo, not of me). Canadians are beginning to herd up and head south for the Winter, stopping in New Hampshire only long enough to load up on Harley-Davidson Motorcycle chrome accessories (duty-free, of course). The mornings are crisp and the evenings are getting shorter. I'm almost looking forward to the artificial clock adjustment that plunges me into darkness when I go to work, and darkness before I get home. The deer, also known as targets of opportunity, will soon be crowding the sides of major highways anxiously awaiting their turn to be turned into paste by a motor vehicle. Ahhhhh! Autumn!

I've Been Tinkering with My Jeep

This is what it looks like so far. Below is what it looked liked a few months ago.

Finally, an Exercise Bike that Makes Sense

Where the Hell was this thing 29 years ago? I use the point in time 29 years ago to reference the moment when I began, quite unintentionally, to transform myself from a strapping young man into the gelatinous mound of hair-covered, stooped-over, prematurely gray, nicotine-stained .....lover of all things Beer! Benjamin Franklin once said, "Beer is proof that there is a God and He wants us to be happy." I believe Ben was misquoted, because he seems to only ever refer to a belief in God in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way. I have it from a reliable source that he actually said "Beer is *burp*, proof that *fart*, blah, blah, blah, happy. Buahahaha!" That's how I would have said it.
Anyway, if this exercise bike had existed when I first began to turn away from the Light and toward the nectar that is Beer, I might actually have become an in-shape beer drunk (and modest home-brewer of said nectar), instead of the sad, wrung-out piece of human flotsam (and modest home-brewer of said nectar) that everyone, sooner or later, grows to love.
I must insert a disclaimer here. If you have not already figured it out, I was doing a bit of drinking just prior to composing this post. In my defense, and I am sad to say, I have not had a single drop of beer. Apparently, the elves who deliver the Light of Coors have been taken ill with the Swine Flu. Thus, there is no Light of Coors to be found within the walls of my Kingdom. Therefore, I have been sampling a little bit of a liquid product from a strange and exotic land called Canada. Something called Canadian Regal Diluted Whiskey. I'm told that Canada is a magical place just to the north of me, and that the inhabitants of Canada are responsible for Molsen. That's it! Ben Franklin actually said "Molsen is proof that there is a beer from Canada, and it wants us to be happy." I like it........

1968

This photo was taken at the very instant I made up my mind to stop shaving and cease cutting my hair in preparation for Woodstock, which was just one short year away. It was the last time that I was photographed when both of my lips could be clearly seen at the same time.

When I found out that Woodstock was essentially 200,000 people wandering around looking for a place to piss, and faced the reality that I was only seven years-old and unable to get a driver's license even in Mississippi, I decided to skip the event in favor of breaking open oysters with a rock. The oyster shell shards proved helpful in scraping off a year's worth of facial hair accumulation. My brother later hit me in the head with that rock, causing a psychedelic effect similar to the one experienced by thousands of participants (and Timothy O'Leary followers) at Woodstock. Essentially, I experienced Woodstock AND knew exactly where to piss (in the Emergency Room).

I'm a Rare Civil Servant

I don't mean that I am a stunningly handsome man, which is obvious (despite the porcupine that attached itself to my chin last Winter). I mean that I am a civil servant who is surrounded by competence.
The overwhelming majority of those with whom I have the privilege of working are extremely competent people.
Government employees often are the butt of jokes - more often than Rednecks, Nuns, Lawyers, and Catholic Priests. Well, maybe not Catholic Priests. They're pretty funny, unless you happen to be a 9 year-old altar boy.
Have you ever heard the expression "close enough for government work"? I don't know what that means. I mean, I know what it means - that half-assed work is acceptable if done by government employees working to government standards. I mean, I don't know anyone or any job in Government that the aforementioned expression accurately depicts. Unacceptable work is unacceptable work, whether or not the Government is behind it. Between military service and Federal Civil Service, I have been on the job for nearly twenty-five years, and I can can say without a moment's pause that I can count on one hand the number of truly stupid, lazy, incompetent people who cannot be pried away from the Government tit (for those of you who object to the word "tit," please insert the word "teet," but avoid using the words "suck" or "suckle" in conjunction with "tit" or "teet" at any cost). My problem is that I can count, and each one of those bozos who I do know is drawing a Government paycheck, which is like flushing cash down a toilet. I don't mean like flushing Recovery Act dollars down a toilet that is being designed and constructed next to a highway paving project that doesn't really need to be done (trumpeted by really nice signs that cost millions to produce and place along the route of the road to be paved). I mean like flushing actual cash down an actual toilet.

Cabot Seriously Sharp Cheddar Cheese

My buddy Rick Gray from Vermont recently gave me a 2-pound block of Cabot Seriously Sharp Cheddar Cheese. I love it. My Buddy Chin also liked it. Chin is trying to arrange for a truck-load of prunes right now.....

I'm On Travel This Week

I'm spending the week in Clifton Park, New York at a work-related conference. I will probably not have anything to post until I return to New Hampshire on the weekend, unless I win big at Saratoga tomorrow afternoon. I've never been to this particular part of New York, but it is really nice. It was only a little over three hours driving time from home. Just after crossing into New York from Vermont, I came upon an accident involving a motorcyclist struck by a car. He didn't do well, despite wearing a lid and full leather. A reminder of how fragile we all are.

Trip to Illinois

I returned Sunday from a four-day trip to Illinois to celebrate my grandmother's 90th birthday. She looked great, and seemed to be on the top of the World. She has a little trouble walking, but is otherwise in good health and just as persnickety as I remember. My brother Richard, his wife Gwen, and their seven children came out from Utah. My cousin Bill, his wife Tamara, and their daughter Tiffany (with boyfriend Mike in tow) came out from San Diego and Mesa, AZ, respectively. My wife PJ and I, as well as granddaughter Amber, flew in from New Hampshire. My cousin Mike and his wife Jennifer came over from Missouri, as did his brother John and his wife Lynnette and children Joshua and Melody. The shot above is my brother Richard, me, and cousin Bill, with the guest of honor, Grandma Mae, in the middle.

To the left is my cousin Mike in the right field of the photo, with his wife Jennifer next to him. To their right is Lynnette, Bill, and Richard. Bill was telling a story that was probably bullshit, unless he was explaining the $200.00 bottle of whiskey we were drinking.






This is John and Lynnette. Obviously, at least one of them is insane. Actually, they are really great people and it was great to reconnect with them after many years.


This is PJ, Amber, and Papa Dutch with Grandma Mae.

Summer is Finally Here!

Summer in New England gets started, it seems, much later than in other places I've ever lived. Spring began June 15th, and ended with the beginning of Summer on July 5th. I hope Summer lasts longer than the two weeks we got last year. If it does, I may try to take the hard top off of the Jeep and drive very quickly between rain showers.

It's easy to tell when Summer arrives here. The abundant wildlife (whose dead carcasses litter the roadways). The beautiful butterflies (stuck to the windshield and grille). The gentle hum of other insect life (as it prepares to feast on your exposed skin). The blossoming flora (causing itchy eyes, runny noses, and sore throats). And finally being able to rake the lawn instead of the roof of the house. Ah..... Summer! I'd better get busy stacking firewood close to the house......

Ever Had "One of Those Days?"

Lately, I have been having and endless stream of days where I felt like this guy. Of course, I'm talking about work. I can't seem to get ahead of the workload, because new stuff just keeps coming in. I remember being bored to tears in previous jobs, and I certainly don't want to return to that environment, I'd just like to be able to see the big picture once in a while. A couple of days being able to sleep past 4 AM would probably be a nice break, too. Perhaps after I'm dead I'll be able to catch up on my sleep.

My Newest Granddaughter

I was having trouble posting this photo yesterday to the Father's Day post, so I made a separate post. This is my granddaughter Kailey, who also lives in Florida.

Happy Father's Day

I wanted to reach out to all of the fathers out there and wish everyone a happy Father's Day. I wanted to also extend a special greeting to my son Tyson, who is celebrating his first Father's Day as a father. I understand he spent the day with his family at the beach in Florida, though I haven't heard that from him personally (my son Thomas told me about it on his way to the beach). In New Hampshire today it rained like a bastard, and the temperature never got above 63 degrees Fahrenheit. Summer is in full swing in New England.....



This is my granddaughter Amber "driving" my Jeep.


















This is my granddaughter Chloe, who is also my niece, and who lives in Utah.





















This is my grandson Gabriel.